brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
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