My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
