but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
