Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
