What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
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Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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