Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
