If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
