I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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