Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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