wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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