What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
