cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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