I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
