I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
