PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
