brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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