I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
