let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
