Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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