Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
