Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize