I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
