Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize