what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
