you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize