I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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