I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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