My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
