Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Drunk is not a location!
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
