You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
