i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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