My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
