i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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