So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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