As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
