Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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