marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
