I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
