you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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