I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
