Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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