The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
