Need sex. Gaining weight.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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