Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.

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(425): View more from Washington

Hi

(805): View more from California

Babe...You're really smothering me right now

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(214): View more from Texas

The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much

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(856): View more from New Jersey

i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear

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(707): View more from California

last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.

Fav 34 5532 1167
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(713): View more from Texas

just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.

Fav 53 4840 1467
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(631): View more from New York

i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night

Fav 20 1314 7091
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.

Fav 3 474 1019
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!

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