How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
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