She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize