dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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