made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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