Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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