I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
i am craving dick and cupcakes
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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