how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
And the cops told us we were all naked.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize