He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Jerry, you need to find god
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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