Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
