worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
