gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
