do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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