dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize