He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Who died my cat blue again?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
