y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
