i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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