We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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